Say it to my face

So Bella and I were unloading the dishwasher for the millionth time today. You know how you talk to yourself in your mind? Well I was saying things like, "I can't stand unloading the dishwasher" and "This never ends!" You get the idea. Then my mind chatter took a turn. I then thought about how most of the world would do anything to have dishes to unload. Dishes in a dishwasher represents so much. Things like the fact that we've eaten.... a lot. We have running water. The water is so clean we can drink it AND clean with it. We have dishes. A machine washed them for me. We have heat that heated them on the dry cycle. You get the idea.

Then I'm thinking about how Bella was probably thinking about how much it stinks to unload as well. So..... here's the important part..... we start to talk about how lucky we are and how we should try to never complain about all the awesome things we have.

I realized that most of the time, these conversations come up if kids start griping about doing work around the house. It's done in more of a disciplinary way to make a point. Why not catch your kid already being rad, thank them and put your "job" into perspective. I really think that Bella will be thinking about our "lucky" talk most times she unloads. Now for the other three kids ;)

You want them to share? Puhlease.

You really want to ask a kid to share? Sharing is just confusing. When you ask a little kid to share, what they think is happening is they are"giving up" a super sweet toy. Put yourself in a 1-5 year olds shoes. You bring this awesome dump truck to the beach. Other kids want to play with it so you have to give it up? Uh uh. Hey mom, you give that one a whirl. You're playing frisbee with Pops and another mom takes your frisbee. Then Pops tells you to share. That'd be a no go.

Here's my suggestion. Erase the word share from your vocabulary. Replace it with the word "trade." You want to play with a kids dump truck Johnny? Ask Steve if he'll trade it for your fire truck. At this point, if the answer is ,"No" to the trade then Johnny has to move on. If the trade sounds good to Steve... you've got a winning deal.

Sharing should be voluntary. You can ask your kid if they'd like to share but I don't think it's fair to force them. Sharing should be done because you WANT to give. Trading is just fair.

Their first "one liner"

So you take your kiddo to the park right? They will inevitably ask another kid, "Can I play with you?" The answers is almost always..... you know..... a big fat, "NO."

Here's the deal. In the adult world, this would be comparable to saying, "What's your phone number?" to a stanger. I have a fool proof one liner that will get your kid playing with anyone they want to. It's so simple it's almost funny.

You are going to give your kid the heads up that you have the perfect thing to always say around big groups of kids. If Johnny wants to play with Steve the opening one liner has to be, "How old are you?" This works on all genders/ages. Believe me, it's magic!

In the adult world this would be like asking someone, "Who's your favorite basketball team" or "Who do you want to win American Idol."

Try it and let me know how it goes ;)

By the way, all this punctuation is killing me.

Keep It Clean

Make your kids clean up any messes they make. My daughter came in with two jackets that had been on the trampoline for a week. They've weathered rain, snow and frost btw. She brings them in and clumps of dirt are now all over my floor. So what to do?

a) Pitch a hissy at your kid for making a mess

b) Send them out of the room while you sweep up the floor

c) Get angry and make them clean up their mess.

d) Let out a big, "Arrrrgh" then suggest they bring out the laundry basket, put the jackets inside and sweep up the mess.

I suggest going with D (this time at least)

If you have always taught your kids to clean up their messes then guess what? They always will. Keep your cool so your kid doesn't get freaked out but ALWAYS let them clean up. The older they get the better job they'll do but compliment the effort and feel free to say,"Oops, missed a spot" if they need to do better work. DON'T FORGET to compliment their great work and thank them for cleaning up their mess.

Here's the deal.

Even make your baby clean up their messes. You'll thank yourself down the road if you do. Remember, If they've always cleaned up their messes they always will.

How do you make a baby clean up their mess? You know when they launch their cheerios off their tray? Pick them up and with a quick and firm voice say, "Food stays on the table." Put them on the ground, take their hand in yours and pick up the food together. Put it wherever you choose. Calmly put the baby back in the chair and continue eating. Drop the subject.

Then when the baby begins eating say something like, "wow, you got it all in your mouth, thank you!" Don't forget the cheesy smile or high five.

This seriously continues forever. As they get older, cheerios turn into clothes, basketballs on the lawn, bikes in the driveway, empty milk bottles on the counter, etc. You'll always have to do refresher courses on cleaning up their junk but if you do this right, you'll get less resistance and they'll have created a good habit.

Kids need to know what you expect. (Firm)

They need to be responsible for their messes (Fair)

They need to feel you appreciate their help and you noticed their good effort (Friendly)

My Favorite F Words

I have always used my favorite F words in life and I find they are especially potent when dealing with kids. They are of course firm, fair and friendly.

Using these words, typically in order, will work every time. I consider these three words life's

little cheat sheet. They direct us in the right direction to do what is right.

If I give any tips I'll try to show how being firm, fair, and friendly works in to the equation.

Get ready 'cuz here one comes.

Hey hey hey

I decided to start a blog blabbing about the junk I think, what seems to work, places I like and cool things I see people do.... along with anything in between.

I often crack the code on random parenting blunders and I'll share some tricks with ya. A big shout out goes to Erin Fergerson for suggesting many times I give this a try. Here goes Erin.