In the spirit of love

I don't really get what the big whoop is about the Royal Wedding tonight. Then a friend mentioned she saw a documentary on what a special romance Will and Kate have had. That's different. I am a big fan of romance! It got me wondering how many of the couples I know met. Royalty is fine and dandy and all but I think WE are much more interesting.

So I'm asking YOU. How did you and your sweetie meet. What's YOUR romance?

XOXOXO

"We're not doing that!"

First up, this topic is very situational and absolutely varies person to person. The only valid comments I can make are in regards to what I do. Scrap it, copy it, modify it, whatever.

Is it me or does all hell break loose when kids come over to play? I'm not sure if disciplining other people's kids is my favorite thing to do but let's be clear about one thing, I'll do it.

I think you keep your cool and be direct with kids. You don't have to lay down big speeches but you do need your "knock it off" one liners.

Here are a few one liners. They are usually accompanied by a serious look and direct eye contact by you. The more you talk, the more a kid won't listen. So make it quick. As you go through the one liners, keep in mind you can add " Do it again and you're leaving" to the end of each one

Anything naughty:

This is often all you need to do.

Eye contact and a firm "Uh Uh" now pause and keep eye contact. The kid usually finds something else to do.

A kid is winding up to throw something at another kid (This is the one I use the most)

"Don't you dare"

A kid is doing something at your house you don't like.

"We don't do that at MY house"

( you need kids to get the drift that they are playing by your rules)

A kid is talking sassy at your house.

"You're not allowed to talk like that over here."

A kid is screaming or yell talking.

"You're hurting my ears, stop yelling"

A kid was rude.

"You're not doing that over here"

A kid has done something over the top and totally inappropriate.

"No Way, you're going home for that one NOW"

I am the first to rat out a kid. One... because parents NEED to know if their kid is being a tool. Two...because the kid needs to know they will not get away with being a tool around YOU.

Ok so the neighborhood kids are always over.

Rule One: They go home to eat.

I don't provide snacks. Water is fine but that's it.

Rule Two: I don't let kids play all through the house. I don't need to clean up their crap. Designate where neighborhood kids can play and LET THE KIDS KNOW where these places are. The garage was set up like a play room and handball ct for my young kids and they knew that was where they could play. I can't stand reminding kids over and over where they can play so I made a sign and taped it on the garage door going to the house that read, "kid's in garage only"

Rule Three:

Keep in contact with these kids parents and ask whole heartedly that they always let you know if there is a problem with your own kid. If they are being naughty at your house and you're not getting anywhere with them....Take them by the hand, walk them home and tell the parent what happened. Then tell the kid they can come back when they are ready to be polite.

Rule Four:

Make sure you remind kids to say thank you and don't pitch hissy fits when it's time to leave.

It's tough when you have kids out front that you can't keep your eye on. In that case you MUST say, "I can't watch you all right now so you'll have to go home"

I have kids in the neighborhood who my kids know they can't play with unless they are outside where I can see and hear them.

Be prepared that sometimes kids will decide they can't get away with much when you're around and they'll stop coming over. They might start asking your kid to go over there and my advice would be not to let them.

YOU MUST be up front that safety and good behavior is a big deal to you. You have to admit and be open with the fact that YOUR kid can be the stinker too so you're never coming off as "the mom who knows everything and who's kids are perfect"

They tired?

I've had this thought often as I go from kid outing to kid outing. I see moms with their kids, sitters with kids and grandparents with kids often. Everyone does.

Why is it that when I see a grandparent (who obviously watches their grandkid regularly) I feel sorry for them. The grandparents I mean. It might be because that would be like ancient chinese torture for some grands, but these grandparents do it.

Is it because they feel like they should? They can't say no? They love it? They obviously love their grandkids but I often wonder if they WANT to be raising little kids again. I often see a grams with a car seat carrier, 2 and 4 year old, little toddlers, etc. They usually look exhausted especially if it's around 1 or 2.

Now I'm NOT talking about a grandparent that stepped up to raise a child permanently for whatever reason or spending time with your grams. I'm talking about a regular child care situation.

Part of me feels like grands should just enjoy the kids. Soccer games, plays, family dinners, outings, movies, swimming. Then again what a blessing for the KID to have family to raise them. Just like being the parent there are hard times and easy times but is it fair to ask your parents to take on that role?

I get it, childcare is expensive and family is a great place for the kids to be.... but is it fair to do to your parents? I don't have the answer or a solid opinion on this one. It just makes wonder if breaking up tantrums is really what a 50-70 year old would like to be doing.

P.S. I blurred out the people in the attached picture because I got it off the internet. I don't know them.

WARNING!!! This post contains my chubby pics. An NO I wasn't pregnant.

A girl from high school got me thinking about the last post I submitted about jammies so I posted this super nasty photo of what I looked like after child #3. Hells yeah I want to look cute as much as possible because if you let yourself go, glace back a the pics above. My husband didn't marry a 160lb girl with baggy hand me down clothes from her mom. He married a 115lb girl who dressed cute and had good hair. Yeah, I was the same on "the inside" but honestly didn't feel like myself until I'd had enough. Nothing good comes from being sloppy. The way you dress, hold yourself and feel often translates into everything you do in life.

About 7 years ago I decided to take baby steps and I mean bahahaybeee steps. I was physically and mentally in a pretty deep hole.

Here's what I did and obviously everyone is different.

Step one: Lose some lbs.

I went to jazzercise TWICE a day FIVE days a week. I couldn't make it through the class for at least two months but kept going anyways.

Step two: Splitzies

I spit a meal with my hubby or put half in a togo box as soon as my meal arrived.

Step three: The year of cute clothes

I painfully threw away all my sloppies. Sweats, xl t's, oversized jeans, etc.

Buying new clothes was really scary and nothing seemed to look good. So I went with long skirts with tanks until I felt ok in fitted pants.

Step four: The year of good hair.

I grew my hair out and bought a high quality flat iron.

Step five: The year of cute shoes and a nice purse

I have worn flip flops my whole life.... no matter what and I've been toting the same stupid black fly's mini backpack for close to forever. I went the boot route since I walk like Tootsie in heels. Used bday $ for a coach purse and wallet.

Step six: The year of trendy jewelry.

Never worn ANY bling. It makes a huge difference on how you feel when you do. I keep it simple and wear one nice item because I feel like an imposter when I layer and do a matchy matchy thing with the jewels. A little goes a long way with jewelry. Even wear something blingy to the grocery store!

Step seven: The year of make up.

Yup, I've had to ask for a lot of help in this department since I've never done more than wear mascara and lip stuff. Full boogie eye shadow is fun!!!

Step eight: Enjoy

Enjoy and be proud of all the work you've done and say "Thank you" when you get a compliment. That is hard to do when you spend a few years feeling so nasty. Revel in the stage you're at and high five yourself for putting forth the effort.

Step nine: Keep on keepin' on

Weigh yourself regularly and remember that feeling great is much more fantastic than eating too much.

Force yourself to look nice so you don't end up getting yucky again.

Figure out what your Kryptonite is. What triggers making you want to let yourself go and outsmart yourself. (Mine is bad hair. When I wake up and throw my hair in a pony I tend to dress like I'm going to paint my kitchen.)

Be happy and positive as much as possible.

Good luck ;)

Now ask me if I care.

I don't care how long you've been married, if you're single, how much weight you've gained, how frumpy you feel, blah blah blah. What you're gonna do is wear something cute at night. You're going to throw away stretched out sweats, loose the oversized logo t-shirts and throw away any sweatshirts that have been washed a million times. And you're never ever ever going to wear your husbands clothes to bed....ever.

Now I'm not saying you have to wear anything sexy (unless you want to) but you do have to wear something cute. It has to match AS IN the color of the top and bottom have to go together or it can be a jammie set. Your jammies MUST fit properly. Get a hoodie instead of a giant sweatshirt. Man socks are a no go. Buy a couple pairs at the dollar store that will go with your new nighty outfits.

Polar fleece is a no no and flannel is marginal. We are going for a comfy fabric with at least 5% spandex in it. Your new jammies should NOT be expensive since you will be buying night time cuteness at all times.

NOW.... go throw away nearly everything in your pj drawer and hit up Target or Kohles tomorrow. I recommend you buy at least three "outfits"

I don't care what you say..... cuteness at night is an absolute must. This simple step will make you feel better, feel more comfortable and cheer you up.

I shouldn't have to say this but just in case.....the key is to wear these clothes in the evenings and to sleep only. Don't you dare wear them all day or put them on in the late afternoon.

The photos are reasonable outfits....Now go hit the stores and find something similar!

Slow and steady yo!

There is a simple cure to letting your house build up dirt and clutter. It takes some discipline but once you make it a habit your house will stay relatively tidy and clean.

You will have to adopt the rule, "If you see it, you have to clean it"

It's pretty self explanatory. If you see a pee drip on the toilet, clean the toilet right away. If you see a dish in the sink, put it away right away, fingerprints on the window.... you get the idea.

Remember, slow and steady wins the race.

Get the sock out of here!

Oh my gosh. My husband played the funniest game with the kids over the weekend. It's so simple it seems lame but give it a try 'cuz it's hilarious.

Figure out who is the is "the getter." In this case it was daddio. All he does is wrestle around to try to get both socks off the kids' feet. That's it. It's so funny, try it.

Mama say what????

When your kiddo gets hurt:

DON'T ASK

"Are you ok"

DO ASK

"Did that surprise you"

For some reason this logic gets kids to snap out of their funk. Quien supo?

Get some sleep yo!

Can't fall asleep? Here's what you do. You'll have to get your sweetie to buy in to this at first but you'll both be sleeping like babies and begging for your new nightly ritual. It's called "The Double Scratch." I know your all, "Duh, everyone knows scratches are relaxing." But this is the double scratch yo!

You have to get into the proper scratch position. All I could quickly find online was a pic of snuggling cats. Just copy them though, they have perfect form. This is seriously the EXACT position you and your love bug need to get into.

So now your scratches can hit your back or your head, whatever you like. BOTH of you should be scratching at the same time...... until you fall asleep. Repeat every night for a week to infinity.

That's obvious.... isn't it?

So my pal Kelly Brian Paull recently told me about this and I think it's pretty wacked that I never thought of it myself. It's so simple. It's genius. It's so obvious.

I'm talking about one of my all time favorite things to do and all this time I have been doing it wrong? I'm talking about hugs. Yup, you read that right, hugs.

There is a rule that should be followed and you won't believe the results. It's actually kind of shocking. Here it is.

NEVER BREAK A HUG.

When you are hugging someone, especially someone you know well and love, let THEM break the hug first. You won't believe how big of a hug people actually need and want. Your kids will never let go as fast as you would. It's life changing. Now go try it.